It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No subtext here. People are naked.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
