scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
