Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
