id be glad to
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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