I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
