my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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