You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
