woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
dude. I can hear the air.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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