Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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