I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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