I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
