I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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