New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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