...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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