just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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