It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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