It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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