hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
