opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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