never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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