How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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