is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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