just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I need to stop coming to work sober
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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