I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
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There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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