i think my tv is drunk
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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