I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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