im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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