Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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