apparently the secret to your success is patron
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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