Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
