Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
