I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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