am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
