They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you inspire me to be a worse person
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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