I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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