Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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