I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
