can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
