Can i not drive my cunt home
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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