I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
