Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize