Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
