he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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