not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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