She said her name was "party"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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