Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
