I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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