At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
