I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
