Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
