They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I cockslap morals
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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