I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
