I am puke
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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