He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
