O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize