i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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