it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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