I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
