who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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